"Every Kiss" Begins with... "E"!

I notice his hand before I notice him. Actually, to be more specific, I first notice what's in his hand. It looks like a fish scrap. It is swinging up and down in rhythm, a direct reflection of his arm motion. The man's hand grips it tightly. I walk almost completely past the man before I look at him. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have. He looks like he should be the chief antagonist of the fourth Lord of the Rings movie. His face is spotted with cracked red sores, his hair is greasy and frizzled, and his eyes looked like they have lived through Dante's Inferno. I whistle at him after he's past me, just for fun. He doesn't turn around.

I suddenly realize it's high time for me to get back to Subz. I now completely forgot why I left. Did I have something to drink recently? Nope. Wait...

Back at Subz I am confronted with yet another roach problem. They have gotten into the olives. I try to point out to my dad that they are black olives, and therefore the customers won't notice, but he does not find my twisted attempt at humor amusing. I sigh and begin crunching away.

Lately I have become increasingly bothered with the "Kay Jewelers" commercial. The slogan reads "Every Kiss begins with Kay". Yes, I realize the clever attempt at a pun, but... IT'S FUCKING WRONG! "Every Kiss" doesn't begin with a fucking "K"! It begins with an "E"! "Every kiss" begins with a fucking "E"!!! Pisses me off...